We’ve all heard it: Men are from Mars, women are from Venus. Translation? Men are cool, women are hot. Venus is closer to the sun, after all. Men might brood in leather jackets, but women light up the room just by existing.
The
Myth of Mister Cool
James Dean once reigned as the king
of cool—until he found out the hard way that being “cool” isn’t much fun when
you’re laid out in the morgue. Steve McQueen managed to hold the title longer,
with cars, motorcycles, and a permanent squint that said, I don’t need
sunscreen. But times have changed.
Cool used to mean cigarettes,
rebellion, and not caring whether your jacket smelled like a bonfire. Now?
Research says coolness is connected to health behaviors. Translation: you’re
cooler if you swap Marlboros for kale smoothies. Apparently, tattoos,
unprotected sex, and late-night pizza may not make you cool anymore—they just
make you tired.
Amazons,
Tennis, and Other Hot Battles
In 1973, a film called Battle of
the Amazons gave us warrior women enslaving men. It was meant to look
“cool,” but let’s be honest—most viewers were too distracted by how hot the
women looked in leather armor to notice the plot.
That same year, Billie Jean King
beat the aging Bobby Riggs in the so-called Battle of the Sexes. The
crowd went wild, feminism had its moment, and Riggs probably wished he’d stayed
home with a beer. But when Martina Navratilova faced Jimmy Connors in 1992,
even with the rules bent in her favor, Connors still cleaned up. And when
Serena and Venus Williams boasted in 1998 that they could beat any man ranked
outside the top 200, Karsten Braasch—ranked 203, looking like he’d just stepped
out of a beer garden—waltzed in and dispatched them both.
Lesson learned: biology is stubborn.
Men may not look hotter, but on the court they often hit harder.
Health:
Cooler Than Cigarettes
Here’s the punchline: real coolness
isn’t about beating your chest or your opponent. It’s about health. Everyone
thinks being healthy means you can breathe, eat, and maybe run to the fridge
without collapsing. But true health? That’s when your mind, body, and soul all
get along like three friends at happy hour.
Your cells are basically gossipers.
They’re constantly texting each other, deciding whether to fight, flee, or just
chill. Ignore them, and things get messy fast.
The
Emu Exit Strategy
Case in point: the emu. Startle one,
and it can’t fly away—it runs. But as it runs, it unloads its digestive system
like Jackson Pollock with a spray gun. It’s messy, it’s frantic, and it’s
exactly how your stomach feels before a big presentation. Not cool.
Cool,
Hot, and Balanced
At the end of the day, men can keep
their “cool” image, and women can keep being “hot.” But if you burn all your
energy fighting battles—whether it’s over tennis, fitness, or who looks better
in skinny jeans—you’ll miss the bigger point.
The real cool? Balance. A little exercise, a little moderation, a lot of good vibes. Forget the war of the sexes; the only war worth winning is the one inside your body, keeping you strong enough to laugh at all this nonsense
